Whilst writing this blog I am reflecting on this year that has so very quickly gone by. For myself personally, it has been a very challenging year as certain events transpired which really shook me and my faith. My heart hardened and for a very short while I was lost. This has been a humbling few months for myself and I hope all who are reading will be encouraged and challenged.

My prayer since the beginning of the year has been ‘Lord, humble my heart.’ Many times, we ask God for something because it sounds ‘noble’ or it’s the ‘right thing to say’, but when the time comes to walk out what we prayed for, we can see where our heart truly is. We are sometimes put in certain situations which test us, but I believe that this is an opportunity to display the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

While going through this difficult season, I was miserable. I was out of fellowship with the Lord, I was constantly working and was trying to distract my heart and mind with ‘things’ which just could not satisfy the heart. I became a very frustrated and quite an irritable person, I believed that everyone wanted to take advantage of my kindness and walk all over me. Hence, I put walls up and cut off contact with everyone for this short period, I believed the lies of the enemy and hated what I had become.

Once you’re no longer in fellowship with God and the believers that God has placed around you, it is very easy to believe the lies of the devil. An offended heart is rooted in pride, we feel that we are right, and our problem is with others rather than ourselves. I was convinced everyone was against me and that kindness was a weakness in my life. This gave me reason to think I should live only for myself only. Walking home from work one day, I was so mentally and spiritually exhausted, I looked up to the sky and I realised what a mess I had become, I said ‘God I need help’. In that very moment I felt the nearness and warmth of the Holy Spirit, it was very tangible and my eyes began to well up with tears because I did not expect a response. I was reminded of what I had prayed at the beginning of the year, ‘Lord, humble my heart.’

I was taken back to scripture where Jesus said, Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29). In my heart I was carrying a huge weight of offence, guilt, shame and condemnation and I knew that the Lord wanted me to give it to Him. Someone once told me ‘the very thing that God loves about you, the devil will seek to defile and destroy.’ A humble and kind heart is not a weakness. The Lord loves meekness, we see throughout the scriptures that God loves those who are humble. Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matthew 5:5,8)

Humility is not trying to be kind and pleasing everyone, no! Kindness is an overflow of a heart which is captivated by the love of Jesus and it is effortless. True humility is laying our life down and coming to the foot of the cross even with our mistakes, questions, burdens, heartaches and hardships. Humility begins with obedience to the Holy Spirit. When we say, ‘Lord let your will be done in my life’, we are acknowledging that He is before everyone and everything. The best example of humility in scripture is our Saviour, Jesus Himself.

Jesus lived a life of humility and this can be seen in His obedience to the Father. Paul in the book of Philippians said, “Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:8) Jesus invites us all to come and learn from Him, ‘He is gentle and humble in heart’ (Mathew 11:29). In the book of John we read about Jesus washing the feet of His disciples (John 13:1-17). Even though He is the King of Kings, He truly lowered Himself and served those who were around Him, the ones whom society had rejected and considered the lowest. What a beautiful Saviour we have.

I want to encourage you, no matter where you are in life, Jesus is near. If you feel like you’ve messed over and over, or you are carrying pain and past hurts, I want to let you know, Jesus loves you. The One who is gentle and humble in heart invites you to come and learn from Himself. If we humble ourselves and come to Him wherever we are today, He will welcome us with open arms. He cleanses us with His blood and sets us free to live for Him. I Challenge you to hear His voice today and ask Him to show you what humility looks like, allow Him to work in your heart and guide you daily.

Asher Gill | Kingdom Encounter